0:00:02 - Betsy Jordyn
Had enough, ready to turn your career into your own consulting and coaching business, you're in the right place. I'm Betsy Jordyn and, with my background as a consultant, entrepreneur and personal brand builder, I'm here to give you inspiration and guidance to own your brilliance, shape your brand, articulate your message and get seen and paid as the expert that you already are. This is enough already the place for consultants and coaches to learn how to create businesses and lives that they love. Welcome everybody to this week's episode of the Enough Already podcast. This is the show for the consultants and coaches out there who had enough already of whatever holds them back from forging their own success in their careers and in their lives.
And today we have a special guest in honor of going to see the Barbie movie this weekend, which, I had to admit, I saw with my daughter and we loved it. And what I loved about the movie so much is that you can be successful and look great while you're doing it, and that there's so much to us as business owners women and as well as men that how we look really translates to how we feel and then how we show up in our businesses and our brands. So I have brought on a very special guest, Mellicia Marks, who is a stylist and who is going to explain to us how we can actually live our brand through our clothes, through our personal style.
0:01:27 - Mellicia Marx
So welcome to the show, Mellicia, thank you, betsy, I'm so excited to be here, I'm so excited to see you and chit chat about all the things.
0:01:35 - Betsy Jordyn
Well, this is so exciting too, because what I love about the show is having an opportunity to get to know the people that I already know, but from a totally different angle, and I get to know your expertise in a very deeper way. So, before we get into the nitty gritty on style and branding and all of that kind of stuff, I want to go back in time and talk about you prior to starting your business, because there's a lot of people who are on my show who are fascinated with a whole idea of entrepreneurship and they may not be there yet and I just want to encourage them through your story of what motivated you to start your own business and why this particular business.
0:02:12 - Mellicia Marx
Oh, that's such a good question. My story is long and complicated, so I will do the down quick and dirty version which is. My background is in nonprofits and philanthropy and all things that I felt like would make the world a better place, and I have my masters in that and I thought this is what you do, and I found that I just didn't feel like I was making a difference and simultaneously I felt resentful that the people around me made more money and I felt like they have the same skills and I was kind of like I don't understand why don't I feel this like deep sense of changing the world and or why don't I make more money so I'm at a different place? So I ended up leaving my job without really having a plan to change careers but this have been something that had kind of bothered me and I went to go see a career counselor kind of person just once, specifically to pay him to redo my resume, frankly, because I didn't want to do it myself and within 30 seconds he was like a fortune teller and sized me up and was like yeah, you can't work for years. You can't. You can't be an employee, you can't work for other people, you need a whole different career, etc. Etc. It was the craziest thing that ever happened to me, but what choosing what I was going to do and having the courage to do it was very much in my wheelhouse.
So, first off, I'm the kind of person who has always known, like, the shoe sizes of every person I know and mailed them clothes and shoes and what, because I just saw them. Like, if you went to an event at my family's house, every single person is wearing clothes. I picked out for them and bought for them. And so I just I just did that and I didn't really think a whole lot about it. And when the career coach said, think of what you love and then become an expert in it, I thought gay rights, women's rights, all the things I had been so passionate about for so many years. And he was like no, no, no, think about what you really do when no one's paying attention, like what are you reading, what are you watching? And that's when I realized that it was personal styling. And then I thought, well, that's crazy, because you don't even need an education to be a personal stylist, so why would I do that? And so I was like, well, I guess I need to work for myself, because that's the only way to make it work.
So was a month between me making that decision and creating the whole business and starting with clients. I had set a goal to get seven full clients in my full package, but I had a bunch of smaller packages. So the goal to make the same amount of money I had made before was I needed seven full people each month, and the first month I sent out an email list to everybody I knew and I got seven clients of the varying sizes, but I got the number and so I'm like okay, this is it. So, yeah, I would say one more thing about it that I have always been someone that if I wasn't happy at my job, I would put three months rent and a jar and quit and go somewhere else. I would move cities, I would change industries, like I've always felt like I can do it, like I know I can take care of myself, I'm scrappy and I you know, if it all falls apart, I can wait. It's like I can do it. So that had been a real part of who I am and I've always been a risk taker.
But I found that over time, after I had a baby, I got some crazy thing in my mind that my nine to five was giving me flexibility that other places wouldn't give me, which is not true, and so I ended up staying somewhere for five years that I should not have stayed because I felt like, oh, I'm not going to be able to find somewhere else that will be flexible around the things I want to do with my family and I, over time, since leaving and having my own business, I've realized that that's a really common thing that women especially do, that we think we're better off than we are and we think that we're in this tiny place, it's the only job that's ever going to be flexible with our hours or whatever, and we kind of push ourselves into a corner.
So that's something I've been really passionate about all these years. Talking to other clients and other women about is like there's a bigger world out there and it's okay for you to negotiate and it's okay for you to throw yourself into the deeper waters, because what's worse than that can happen. It can work somewhere else. That was just like the place you were before.
0:06:33 - Betsy Jordyn
So it sounds like for you there was like a certain amount of discontent that you were really honoring as it relates to an entrepreneur. It kind of was a good fit, because you have a natural risk taking personality. And then it seems like this particular I love what your career coach said is like well, what are you loving to do when nobody else is looking something along those lines? It's like things that come so naturally to you. It was figuring out how to trust that.
So you got a little bit of validation and then a little bit of more clarity on hey, wait a minute, I'm doing this all the time anyway. So, even though I may not have a formal degree, I have a degree of hard knocks because I'm doing this all the time, I'm studying up on it, I'm studying it, I am an expert and it's getting into that place. And it sounds like then, once you got the validation, like I send the email out. It's like all right, this is the way I'm going to go In terms of, like, getting you to where you are now as a business owner. Is that accurate?
0:07:30 - Mellicia Marx
Yeah Well, and you know what was so crazy about it? When, as soon as I was like, well, could I have my own business? I had all the skills I needed. I literally was like, oh, I've been an entrepreneur my whole career and not realize it. I create programs all the time, I create all sorts of things from the beginning to the end. I've done the marketing, I've done the sales, I've done the budgets, I've done all the things. And so when it was time to create it, people are like, how'd you do that? I was like, oh, it turns out I've been doing this my whole career and just never knew. So you don't realize you have these skills.
But if you're an entrepreneur, like it's in you. I mean, I'm just naturally this way and have ideas all the time and I just I really I think I was just in this place and from the world I came, from the people who are around me. I just thought, if you want to be a good person and do good things, you must work in public service or nonprofits or whatever. I was never even exposed to the idea that you could do that through business and, frankly, I have much more positive impact with this role that I've ever had in my life. It's much more gratifying. I see the ripple effects of my work in a way that I never did before and, like I said, it turned out, I had the skills that I didn't know that I had. So I feel like there's a lot out there for people that you underestimate.
0:08:50 - Betsy Jordyn
What you have, I love what you're saying, too, is like connecting the dots between I have these skills in this particular environment and they're transferable over here. I was an entrepreneur. Now I became an entrepreneur. I had these skills over here and it's just seeing them in a different light. You know, I feel the same way. It's like when I started my consulting business, it was like I had always been an entrepreneur. I always just started things all the time. But I think for me, the biggest transition is moving from a consulting business to the business I have now, which is all around the brand building and the messaging and all that kind of stuff, because I didn't have a formal degree. But it was ironic because I still use the same skillsets that made me a great consultant. I still have this ability to sort and organize information into categories and I still have the same kind of like skillsets. I just reapplied them in a different way and it seems like that was kind of seamless for you.
Before we get into all the fashion stuff, I want to follow up on one other thing that you said, if that's okay. Yeah, this is fascinating. I love this whole idea of a myth that we have more flexibility if we're in corporate versus on our own, because I was a single parent when I started my business and people were like you should just stay in corporate. I'm like I want to be able to be home with my kids. I want to be able to do this. Like no, you need to give security. And then everything fell out of the economy, you know, and it's like, well, you know, I still have stability because all my eggs aren't in the same exact basket. You know, I have this online business. When the pandemic came, my work didn't change. I, you know, I modified, just I didn't even modify. I just kept doing the same thing I did every single day, and I think that there's a myth on you know, there's more security, there's more flexibility if you stay in corporate. Can you speak to that a little bit more?
0:10:33 - Mellicia Marx
Oh, yeah, I think for me, I mean, if I had ever considered having my own business, I would have thought oh yeah, I have flexibility having my own business. But I think when I was working for someone else, I thought I had like this magical one little job that allowed me flexibility in the nine to five. Or I mean I negotiated to go fewer days a week so I had to be with my kid, but I ended up having full-time responsibility, less pay.
0:10:58 - Betsy Jordyn
Awesome.
0:10:58 - Mellicia Marx
Yeah, I have that too, Worst of all worlds.
And then you give up your insurance benefits and everything else, yeah like pros and cons, and then you look at I mean I still had my benefits. But I would look at someone next to me not doing, not achieving as much, not hitting the numbers I was hitting, and that person is making more than me because they technically work more hours when they're just sitting there and I'm like working my ass off. You know what I mean? Like right, I kind of couldn't understand it. But I will say there's also, I think, a really big myth that when you start your own business, it's a 24 seven job and you just are killing yourself all the time and you have to respond to clients every second and whatever. And that has just not been the case for me at all.
I have had very clear boundaries from the get-go and I'm really open with my clients. I feel like I'm an example to them and so I communicate that I work with women and so I'm like I'm not available 24 seven because there is no fashion emergency, like I don't. I mean I'm here, supportive and whatever you need when you have this huge event or this thing has collapsed, or like I am here for it. But generally this is not something where we need to be in constant contact. I need you to have your space and your time. And I have my space and my time and when we're together, like I am a thousand percent, you Like there is nothing else going on in my life, but like what's happening with you and me right now.
But I think we create all these myths in our minds Like, oh, if I want to start my own business, I need to have a ton of money to do that and I need to have clients for three years lined up and I need to work 24 hours a day and I want to be with my kids.
So I don't have capacity to do that.
And it's like there you just decide what's important to you and when it's important, you make time for it, and when it's not important, you need to be able to let it go.
And you need to understand that. Like, especially if you're someone with a lot of ideas, like you and I both are it's like I could give you 87 ideas right now, but I can't execute all those ideas and I need to be able to tell myself, okay, idea one is the one we're going to do and I need to walk away from those other ones. I think that's the hardest part, but you don't have to work all the time, you just need to be smart about it. And I just think, like you said, there are a lot of myths and a lot of stories we tell ourselves and it's important to not only like, not only go against that and not be afraid to challenge it, but also to admit what the stories are You're telling yourself in the first place, because you're creating these barriers you may not even be acknowledging to yourself and you actually create a different kind of business.
0:13:35 - Betsy Jordyn
Like one of the things I talk with my clients when we begin my brand messaging program, you know, is really setting your intentions from the start, because how you build it is the business that you're going to create.
So if you want to have a business that allows you to have time with your kids, then you have to schedule it and you have to do the business development process to match the lifestyle that you want.
If you start your business with frenetic energy and it's like, oh my gosh, I have to like go after this one, then your whole business life is going to be like that and you're going to opt out. You know, unless you just take it in a strategic approach and you get into flow and you just say, all right, I trust that this is the path I'm supposed to be on, these are the skills that I want to bring to the table, this is the people I really want to serve, and you just go and flow, then that's going to be the business that you're going to have later. And if you do the otherwise, like I've done, all the different iterations of, like the scarcity business and you got to do all of that and that's the business that you're going to create, and then you're going to be super busy and you won't love your intentions, it's so.
0:14:32 - Mellicia Marx
I love that, yeah, and also trusting everything you just said, trusting your instincts. So the moment that you're having a conversation with that potential client and you know that it's not a good fit and you're like but I love the money, but I know it's not a good fit, you have to trust that it's okay for you to say no and that there will be someone else that comes up that has the means to pay you as well. Because every time you make those choices that go against your gut, it's just whittling away at you, it's just beating you down a little bit to make you feel like you don't know what you're doing. But you do know what you're doing or you wouldn't be here. You know what I mean.
So just trust yourself. Do what you want to do and like learn the information. There's resources like you right and people who can support you and give you guidance where you need the guidance. Hit. Acknowledge that. But trust yourself and that you it's kind of like with marriage. You know people always judging other people's marriages like how would I know what someone else's marriage is? I'm not in their marriage. It's the same with your business. Just trust yourself and what you want your business to be, how you want to run it what's integrity to you and good things will come from it?
0:15:47 - Betsy Jordyn
Oh for sure, because when you're in alignment, people will sense it.
You know, and then the right people will be attracted to you. So okay, so it's time to get into the content that you are uniquely qualified to provide this audience, which is all around how you dress according to your brand or how you could fulfill your brand. Now, guys, if you're listening in, I know that there's gonna be tons of value in this conversation and, for women, you definitely wanna, you know, really start paying attention, because this is so important to us. Because how many times do we not go to the networking event because we don't know what to wear, you know? Or we don't know how to show up, or how we feel and our clothes will affect us, or how many times we'll turn down opportunities, we'll avoid things because of how we look?
So I really wanna talk about personal fashion from the standpoint of that expression, of your brand and your promise. So how does your so? Now, with all those copyouts, I hopefully everybody's ready to talk about the fashion. So let's talk about how does our personal style, you know, influence how people perceive, you know, our brand, and why is this important for consultants and coaches to pay attention to our personal style?
0:16:59 - Mellicia Marx
Well, I think the first thing is how it affects you, because how you show up in the world is really what matters. So, before you even think about potential clients or going to the networking event, you think about how you feel, about how you're presenting yourself to the world, and so I think it's really helpful to think about a time in your life when you had to wear a uniform at a job, or your mom picked out your outfit to go to some wedding or whatever. In the whole time, you were just like this is not me, why am I in this? And you're so uncomfortable. You don't show up the same way. You don't wanna interact with people, you just are like oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
And then you contrast that with a time where you're like this is me, this is like a thousand percent me. I love this. I feel great in the way that you present yourself to the world, the way you come in with confidence. You feel more relaxed. It's because you know that you're showing your authentic self to the world, and that is the most important thing. So, before even figuring out, should you pair this with theirs or whatever? You should only have things in your closet, that really feel authentically you and that is going to help you show up in the world in a very different way.
0:18:11 - Betsy Jordyn
You're making me think of my first grade self. So when I was in first grade, my mom picked out my outfit and I remember this outfit so well. It was like a turtleneck dress. It was like a Ronald McDonald red with Ronald McDonald like yellow stripes, and I hated this dress. I hated this dress so much and so when she picked it out, like I pull it off the chair and I would like stomp on it like she's gonna be, and then she still wouldn't make me.
Let me do something else. So in the first grade group picture there's me and I'm frowning because I'm like I'm punishing my mother. I've ruined the picture for the entire first grade class, but that is such a good reminder because I did not wanna show up in a picture wearing this awful dress, the stupid Ronald McDonald dress. I still hate it. I wanna talk to my mother about it when I'm done with this interview. But it affected how I wanted to show up. I imagine why would somebody wanna show up somewhere that's professional, where you're already vulnerable and you're wearing clothes that don't feel like you?
0:19:07 - Mellicia Marx
That's really, I think vulnerability is the key to all of this, because when you have on clothes that make you feel like you're authentic self, you feel powerful, you feel like you can take on the world, like it's like armor for some people depending. But it can also be this way of communicating to people am I approachable, am I intimidating? Like what's the vibe that I'm trying to give off to the world? And I think it's really important to think about that on a personal level and your personal brand, right. But if you're a business owner or a coach or a consultant, it's a totally different universe. Like you're at the next level of do you fit into this peer group or not, and like that's pretty clear from the get-go is if you feel like you belong in this space and your clothes can help communicate.
If you do, or if you're someone like think of it as two examples so here tech is. I'm in Seattle and tech is ubiquitous. And so if you were to go to an interview at a tech firm and you walked in in a conservative suit, in a tie and whatever, they're not even looking at you Like you don't even belong here. They're like I don't understand, do you not know what this job is and that's them trying to find someone who fits into this culture, who kind of gets it in there like these are my people, right, but on the other hand, you can also be like, hey, I wanna stand out from the crowd and I don't feel like I need to just be what everyone else is, and whichever one feels authentic to you makes more sense.
So, as an example, I am really fascinated by Kirsten Sinema, the senator, and not about like whichever way people lean politically, but she has a very specific personal style and it has nothing to do with anyone else in Congress and she if you don't know anything else about her, her style is memorable, you don't forget her, and she definitely is communicating to the world that she does not go with the pack and she is not afraid to stand out, she's not afraid to be her own person. And then when you look at her politics, that's exactly how she is. So she's communicating that If you didn't know anything about politics at all and you just saw a picture of six senators, you'd be like, whoa, what's going on with this lady? And then when you find out that she votes differently than other people, it aligns.
So when you think about your personal brand and your style. You want your pieces to feel authentic to you, so it would be crazy if Kirsten Sinema was wearing these clothes and she didn't feel good in them. But if those are the clothes that make her feel confident and she's simultaneously communicating that she is off the beaten path, that's kind of where you're looking.
0:21:49 - Betsy Jordyn
So I like what you're saying is it's like you dress like you and you're in alignment and you have to trust that however you're showing up is what the client needs. So if your client is like dealing let's say you're dealing with some of those techie kind of companies and their casual kind of hippie outfits but they got a financial issue and they want to feel like a trust and a reliance of somebody who's really stable, then perhaps a more conservative outfit if you're authentically an accounting kind of person, that would make sense versus you're coming in there to help them with their culture and their environment. So it's like whatever seems to be congruent to who you are and to where that match point might be. Am I hearing that accurately or am I missing this?
0:22:33 - Mellicia Marx
I think it's well, I may not have done an excellent job of explaining it. One either way you make sure that you are being the authentic person that you are, but then simultaneously, if you're trying to be a part of a community or fit into a tribe or whatever, you want to make sure that what you're wearing makes sense with that community and is congruent in some way where they don't just automatically think you're not our people.
0:22:57 - Betsy Jordyn
Got it so with some of the bad advice I got when I was a new business owner is they were like okay, wherever you go, you just go like two clicks ahead of like more formal, so if everybody's in like casual, then you should wear a jacket, and if everybody's wearing a jacket then you wear a tie, like that kind of thing. And my feeling was different is like well, whatever they're wearing, I'm wearing because I want them. I don't want to create that distinction, but maybe in some cases somebody does, but that was never my values. I don't want to create that distinction, right.
0:23:29 - Mellicia Marx
I'm totally in alignment with you there. So it's because you're trying to show, are you approachable? In which case what you're saying is, yeah, I want to wear what they're wearing, so I feel approachable. Or are you trying to be like aspirational, or are you trying to be intimidating? You know where they're like. To your question earlier they need a CEO and they want someone who comes in and is kind of intimidating and they feel like, okay, that's the vibe we're looking for for a CEO. Okay, but it's which one are you trying to be? What makes sense for you? And I think it's important to just know who you are, but also come into that role in a way that feels good.
So what you were just saying with clients, like, as an example, when I was researching what other personal stylists did before I started this business, I researched all these people and I asked everyone I knew do you know anyone who's used a personal stylist? And then I interviewed all those people. What was it like? What did you not like? What did you wish she had done, et cetera, et cetera. And one of the people said she came in here with like four inch heels and I was just like what? Because they're like, that doesn't relate to my life. I have a two year old child. I'm never gonna wear those clothes. And so, from that client potential client's perspective, she was looking at this person being like you don't? You're out of touch with my life, you don't know. How can you possibly relate to my problem and help me solve it and empathize with me? Because you don't understand and like for me.
One of the greatest selling points that I had out of the gate as a stylist is that most stylists come up through fashion Like they've worked at a brand or whatever. And, of course, I've worked in retail a million years, but I have worked in literally every industry in one way or another and if I haven't worked somewhere, I have been there and given speeches and asked for money and whatever. So, no matter where somebody works when they're like I work at the county, at blah, blah, blah oh, I've worked there. I know what they wear. I've worked at Amazon oh, I got you. Okay. I've worked at the wherever Doesn't matter finance. I worked in a welding shop.
I'm like, I've been at all these places and so I understand what people wear in those spaces so that when I'm picking out clothes for someone, I'm picking out clothes that people actually wear in their office, but a level up, you know, like the coolest looking person in that office, but still in that office, not just like in a totally different universe. And so something that worked really well for me was that I was communicating all of that really easily because I was familiar with all of it, whereas another stylist coming up through fashion is like this is what people wear in this industry. That's like no, it's not. That's not what, that's what the fashion magazine tells you they wear. But we're in real life here, so right. So this is. So what matters when you're thinking about your brand and what you want to be wearing is you want it to be authentic to you, so you feel like your best self, but you also want it to make sense with the environment you're in, so you're not just feeling totally out of touch.
0:26:29 - Betsy Jordyn
I love how your whole past experience of trying out different jobs has wound up paying off for you, like now it's like like now that's like a superpower that you had that. And I feel like the same thing for me as, like a branding person is because I came up through corporate and I've worked in all these different organizations as a consultant Like I know all of my clients clients Like I know them intimately so I know how to do messaging you know to them, rather than if I just came up through marketing and copywriting and all of that it's like using that to a competitive advantage. So like sidebar that's a really great point is like something that you may feel like disqualifies you for the role that you want to have actually might give you a competitive advantage. So I think that's important to keep in mind. Going back to the fashion thing though it sounds like really at the end of the day is be you and be you and show up the way you are and use that like and just try to match who you're trying to help and you already know who you want to help, so you don't have to like put on airs.
I remember like I got tons of advice when I first started my first couple of websites, I, like I was in this different phase. You know my dad had died. I'm coming out of corporate, I want to move into this more authentic life and I did not want to wear, you know, two businessy stuff. So I had like a green shirt that had, you know, like it was a button down, but I wore cute shoes and I got so much crap for my clothes it's not even funny. It was like you should be in a suit because you could stand up in front of a group of executives, so why should you not be in a suit? And, betsy, you look like a party girl.
And then I started getting really insecure, you know, about what I was wearing, because what I wanted with my clients is what I have in my business now. I wanted to invite them that there's more to life than just performance. There's more. So when I work with coaches especially, it's like you don't want to be looking like. You know the stressful work environment. You want to look like more of the chill version, but nobody really wears jackets anymore. So don't wear your jacket, you know and be. You show up, and then people will be resonating with that. I agree.
0:28:30 - Mellicia Marx
I think it's being who you are and then showing that you care.
I used to do monthly workshops with youth experiencing homelessness, and then they had an opportunity to have job training, and so I would do a session with them each time, helping them learn what's appropriate for a job interview, what isn't talked about hygiene, all the kind of things and the most important thing is it didn't matter how expensive your clothes are, if they were free, if someone else gave them to you or loaned them to you.
What mattered is it showed that you cared enough to put yourself together to show up to the job interview looking like you were like hey, I know, a job interview is coming, that's what matters. So it's like you want to wear something that feels like you and you're in alignment and you're like this is my best self, but also it didn't just roll out of bed and like I love this T-shirt, like I'm comfortable with that, so like you care enough to say I'm putting myself together for this time because I respect you and I respect myself, and this shows you that I'm gonna put this kind of time into what we do together too your priority to me.
0:29:31 - Betsy Jordyn
Yeah. So it's important to be you and we're gonna talk a second about like how do you pick out the right clothes that feel like you In a second, because that's also part of it. But it seems like, ultimately, the whole idea around the alignment between your style and your brand, where this comes together, it's an expression. But also one of your expressions should be is I got my stuff together, I know what I'm talking about and I need to come across Like I have a put together outfit. There was an intentionality, there was a thought behind it, right, yes, so how do you figure out your style, especially so thinking about my audience, we're mid-career people. So, as I mentioned, my horror story is one of the best moments of my professional life was the moment that I got rid of all my suits. I hated my suits. I felt like a straight jacket in them and I got rid of all of them and they were all black and I made this intention a couple of years ago for this latest website, for this photo shoot. I'm like I'm wearing a dress and I'm gonna lean into the pink and I'm gonna wear a pink wraparound dress and I was like I was so happy in my photo shoot, but the best couple of men I got this is.
Go back to the whole Barbie thing. I can get emotional about Barbie, cause I watched this with my daughter and she's like I love that you can be a powerful woman in pink, and I love that example is that you don't have to choose between looking powerful and looking feminine. Right, that you could still be you as a woman, and she loved that. Now my dress wound up being red, but the whole concept was is I could still be pretty in pink? I could still be, like you know, that Elle Woods kind of person, or like what Barbie is. You know she's powerful, but she's got cute clothes Like you don't have to choose.
So, talking about like, how do you figure out your personal style? And how do you figure out like, well, what's that line between? You know, like I'm supposed to be professional versus I just want to be me? You know how do you figure that line as well. For women, particularly on that one, men, they don't have that many choices. It's either going to be a polo, you know, button down with a tie, without a tie, jacket, without a jacket. Women, we have a lot more choices.
0:31:32 - Mellicia Marx
It's true we have more choices, but there are a lot more exciting opportunities for men's wear, to be sure, of course.
So before we go forward, I would like to say I love that photo shoot and all those images of you, and I am a thousand percent on board. It's powerful but approachable and friendly and polished, and it looks like you're engaged and you're professional, but you're also not like conservative and buttoned up and like you get all of that just from what you're wearing and your expression in those photos, and that is like that's your brand, like we can see that I know who you are without reading any of the content on your site, and that means a lot. So one thing I will say quickly is that colors and then I want to dive into how you figure out your style, but I don't want to forget this part about colors, because I feel like it's really important to business owners and I think it's really easy to miss this, which is when you're thinking about your own branding and what the colors are going to be for your logo and your website and whatever you want to take a step back and think about what are the colors that you feel confident in, that you gravitate toward that you love, and so you'll know that you'll be wearing some of those colors when you are in photographs and you need your brand to make sense with that color story, so that you don't say I'm somebody who loves burnt orange and then my site is hot pink, and then you realize later you have these photos where you think you look amazing and then it looks terrible in your branding. So word to the wise, don't forget, colors are important.
Ok, now choosing how to figure out your own personal style. I have I like filters. I like things to be super clear. I work really well with analytical folks, especially because I feel like if you give people clear guidance, then from there we can be creative and get all crazy, but if you have something that you can just fall back on it, it simplifies your life.
0:33:25 - Betsy Jordyn
And.
0:33:25 - Mellicia Marx
I'm all about simplification. So I think, to determine your personal style, you think about you're walking to a room full of strangers. You look the best you've ever worked, and this can be. You can do at work or personal, it doesn't really matter. But you walk into this room. You look the best you've ever looked. Money is not a problem, you don't have to worry about being appropriate for any situation. You're just wearing something that makes you feel awesome.
If you walked into that room, what are the kind of words that people would use to describe your style? So it's not what you're doing now, it's aspirational, it's looking forward. And if you can picture that in your mind and think about the kind of words people would use to describe that style, that's how you know what your personal style words are. So, in the case that you were just giving the example of, feminine would be one of your words and strong would be another one of your words. Approachable would be another one of your words. Maybe polished or put together. Probably fun, I think, is one of your words too. So you come up with. I like to come up with maybe three words or so, but if you have more it's fine, whatever. So you get your personal style words and I just made those words up based on me knowing you and what I get. Did I before I move forward? Am I off base? Am I close?
0:34:47 - Betsy Jordyn
I would probably say I like the mirroring that my daughter said about the power. I don't know if I would. I don't know if I'm trying to come across as powerful. I want to come across like I trust, like I can come alongside you like a supportive, like empathetic, probably more empathetic but still feminine and playful, like there's some of that that I have in that. So I would probably say you're probably bang on.
0:35:14 - Mellicia Marx
And I think, maybe then for you powerful is not right, it's confident or it's, I think, supportive is really nice too. But when you come up with these particular words, then you put them in a list there.
And then you also figure out the color palette that feels good to you. So that would be helpful, with branding especially. And then for women, I help them determine what flatters their frame. So what works for your body type, what's works for your lifestyle? So to our point earlier our thing's super conservative, our thing's super relaxed. If you're on the floor with young kids, it doesn't make sense to be wearing a pencil skirt and have to get up and down on the floor all the time. So it works for your lifestyle.
And then, lastly, when it's possible, what are your values? So, in the case of clothing, it can be things like you know sustainability, et cetera. You can see my cat in the back, yeah, so it could be you know sustainability. But it can also be values. To me that you communicate through. Clothes are connection. So if I'm somewhat like this ring, if someone sees that ring, they go oh, what is that? And then I start talking to a random stranger and I've connected with someone new. So if I have a value of connection, I like to choose pieces that make people wanna connect with me. Or you could have a value of power, like we were saying before. So you wanna exude power in everything that you're wearing or whatever so there's.
I have a whole list of values that we can go through, but the idea is, once you know your personal style, words, what flatters your frame, those colors that work if it's useful for your lifestyle, and then, when possible, if it aligns with your values, you use those filters every time you shop. So you're basically making sure that your closet is a boutique curated just for you, that only has pieces that hit your criteria, and when you do that, no matter what you pick to wear to that networking event, you're gonna feel like your best self. If you stick with one color palette, everything in your closet's gonna go with everything else, which further simplifies your life, and once you have that criteria, you can use it to shop for the rest of your life, and so things will just add to this collection instead of having random pieces that never get worn or need something to go with them.
0:37:31 - Betsy Jordyn
That's just so brilliant, because I have one of those random from different phases and then everything doesn't match and then it's like, okay, I will have this skirt, but it doesn't match with anything else. My shoes don't match. I love that idea. It's like that capsule wardrobe concept, but starting from a foundation of everything matches, and it's that does simplify, especially, going back to what we talked about before as it relates to being an entrepreneur, things can be busy and you want to simplify things. I love that, as it relates to picking out the right stuff how do you figure out what your color palette is and how do you make sure that you are dressing for your body type?
0:38:09 - Mellicia Marx
Sure, when I work with clients specifically, I create a password protected profile for each of them so they can actually look on their own webpage and it will give them a very specific hey, these tops are great for you, these tops aren't. These pants are great for you, et cetera. Here's your color palette, based on your skin zone. I do that for clients and then everything that we do has that component, because I want to teach them to fish, but give them the support they need. Another way is to do research on the internet on your own, which is totally doable, where you're just trying to figure out what your body type is, their apps for it to, and measuring and getting a sense of shape. One thing I think is important to know about body types is that it's all about the shape and not about size. So you could be a size four or a size 24, and if you have a triangle shaped figure, you have a triangle shaped figure. You dress it with the same approach doesn't matter, and most women will end up having a very similar body shape for most of their lives. Sometimes, if you have drastic weight loss or gain, that can change. Also, I work with trans women and so sometimes during the process with hormones, their body type will change as well. But once you know that body type and then you understand how to dress it, then you're able to just stick with those things and it doesn't have to limit you. It's not like, oh, now I need to wear the same. I know this works, I'm just going to wear it all the time.
Then you get bored and then you want to try something different. You try something different, but it doesn't actually go, and then the whole thing would fall apart. Right, but the idea is, once you the idea is let me say it this way right. Usually we have one thing that we love and we're like I love this dress, I look amazing in this dress, oh, it's getting old, or I need another. I'm going to go try to buy a dress, just like this dress. And I buy this other dress and somehow I never wear it, and I don't know why I just don't. It's because the criteria or the characteristics of what make that first dress successful are not what you think they are. So you've tried to buy the same thing that you haven't bought the same thing. Maybe the neckline is different, or the color is different, or the length is different or the shape is different.
There's something that you don't know that's causing you to make these. I wouldn't even call them mistakes because you don't have all the information. So once you know how to dress your body type, it makes it so. It just simplifies your life so that when you see something that you know meets your criteria, you buy it. You don't think twice, you move on about your life and when you see something that doesn't and you like it, you say to yourself oh, I really like that, but it doesn't be my criteria, it's not my style words or whatever Do. I still want it and you can get it if you want.
But you'll find 90% of the time that you'll decide that it's not even worth it to you because it's going to be too difficult to like make it all work. And also, if you find style words, I think, which is super helpful, like we were talking about earlier if you're like okay, these are my words. You know, I want to be empathetic and I want people to know that I'm effortless or relaxed, etc. And then you go and you pick out this super conservative dress and you're like I love this and it's like well, it's none of your words. So the question is is this actually the style you're going for, that you actually love conservative and tailored, and that's totally fine and maybe you need to reexamine what it is that you love and go for that. Or is this just totally out of alignment? You think it's cool but you're never going to wear it because you won't feel comfortable?
0:41:43 - Betsy Jordyn
So interesting. Last year I bought I was getting like a bunch of different like travel kind of outfits. I was going to Nantucket and I got this like white button down, you know kind of athletic kind of, but it was a structured shirt and it's like, oh, it's really cute and I never wear it. But like I wore it once when I just did a corporate event like a month ago and it's like I still like I couldn't wait to get that thing off. It's really cute, it's just it's not feminine, it's not feminine.
0:42:14 - Mellicia Marx
That's right, and especially so. As an example, if a woman has a rectangle shaped figure which is just kind of straight up and down some people call that kind of boy shaped you like this. Women will say this to me If you have that kind of shape. Or you have an inverted triangle, which means you have, like, broader shoulders than your hips, so people have to call that a swimmer's body, those kinds, those two body types.
When you pick more masculine clothes, you tend to not like them, and you don't know why, and you just are like, I don't know, I just don't feel that good in it, and it's because you don't want to be wearing something that is more masculine than your body is. Even that, you just get frustrated and so you want to wear something more feminine. And then, on the flip side, if you have more feminine figure, you may feel more comfortable wearing more masculine stuff, assuming that masculine spire is not your style. Could you maybe someone who just prefers to wear masculine type clothes, which is great, but there are things that coincide with your body type that you're like. Oh, it turns out there's logical reason why I don't like this, or I never like this kind of sleeve, and I don't know why and it's like oh, because that kind of sleeve just makes you more sensitive about your arms or whatever.
So you start to see that there are reasons behind each thing you're doing and what works and what doesn't, and sometimes there are things that you want to change or you want to adjust to or you want, and if you don't know how to do it, you just keep striking out and you feel like it's you and since it's not you, it's the clothes. Their whole job is to make clothes. Your body is not the problem. You don't need to lose weight. You don't need to change anything about yourself. You just know how to dress the body you have so that you feel like your best self.
0:44:00 - Betsy Jordyn
So it seems like an easy first step would be is to take your absolute favorite outfit that you feel amazing and put it on your body on, and then think about Well, why do I like about it? You know what is the color, the cut and use that as a starting point and that could give you some of the clues around what your color palette might be and what your body shape might be on. Is that a reasonable first step?
0:44:25 - Mellicia Marx
I think that will give you good tips on your color palette. For sure, if there's a color that you feel great in, then that's very likely that that's in your color story. You know that you could even do the kind of the four seasons. I think that trying to work backwards to figure out what it is about this top that works for your body is probably going to end up feeling frustrating because you won't necessarily say you ended up picking the wrong thing. But there is like I mean, a, I can help you with that, but B, there's a lot of information on the internet if you're interested to help you figure out your body type.
And it's funny too, because in the very beginning I've been doing this for over a decade and I used to think oh, you know, I don't want to like obsess over the body type, does it matter whatever? But I do feel really strongly over the years that it's very clear that understanding how to dress your body will make you feel better in your clothes and it's like you don't have to change anything else about your body. It will just make there are certain areas you don't feel as great about. You'll understand how to minimize. Certain areas you feel awesome about, you'll understand how to maximize, and that really has a profound impact, so that the way I talk about it with people is like you know, you've got tights that are too tight around your waist right, so you're at work, you're at the desk and they like pinching your stomach or whatever. Now you're having this whole negative self talk about how you need to lose weight and all these things about you. What's really wrong is these are the wrong tights for your body and you could have, like, solved the world's climate crisis or whatever.
In the amount of time that we spend having negative self talk about our bodies and worrying about what we could do differently and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. None of that would even happen If you were wearing the right tights in the first place. You'd be so focused on your work you forget about it. I always tell people should get up in the morning to take you 30 seconds to figure out what to wear. You wear it. You forget all about your outfit until the time when someone gives you a compliment during the day, which they will, and then you remember and then you go about your life. So you should only be thinking about your clothes when people are telling you how rad they are.
0:46:29 - Betsy Jordyn
That's awesome, really good, great advice, and it's like it's a good point. Is that how much wasted time and how many triggers of negative self talk our clothes can create for us. Okay, so I want to do a little rapid round with you, so I'm going to talk about, like fashion, situations that we all might find ourselves in and so in a several days or a week in the life of a typical consultant or coach. So I'm going to just ask you to quickly name off the biggest dos and don'ts in these different environments. So are you ready to play? Oh, okay, zoom meetings do, and don'ts.
0:47:06 - Mellicia Marx
Do look like yourself, but look like you care. Make sure that your area is clean behind you and, depending on the person, I think you feel better if you're actually wearing something you like top to bottom. Don't just roll out of bed and think that it doesn't matter. Also, this is going to be super controversial, but I don't have like pajamas on the bottom, dressy top on top, and the reason I say that is because it's hard for you to get your whole head into work and feel like you can just you want on a zoom meeting, to feel like you could just walk into the real meeting and the zoom is just, you know, because you can do any tips for the top Like is this okay to have open, cold shoulders, or should you have closed shoulders?
0:47:56 - Betsy Jordyn
T shirts, high, little necklines, low necklines. Any thoughts on that one?
0:48:01 - Mellicia Marx
I think you should be who you are and when you know how to dress for your body type, that will determine different tops for you. But it's important to be cognizant of your audience and what feels appropriate. So if you're dealing with a C suite, you probably don't want to have, you know, something that feels super casual or super revealing. But also if you're dealing with a kind of relaxed folks I mean most people at this point are in a business casual sort of life I mean there are very few industries where people are more conservative so you can just ride that line for in between, where color that feels good to you next to your face I think those are probably most important things.
0:48:44 - Betsy Jordyn
Okay, so now we're at website photos. I got a lot of instructions from my photographer around not wearing like, making sure you have sleeves. Three quarters is better like or short like. You definitely don't want to do sleeveless. I don't know if you agree with that, but tips for website photos.
0:49:03 - Mellicia Marx
Tips for website photos. I will say the reason your photographer said that is because your eye will always go to skin. So in life, when you're dressing for your body type, you draw the eye with bright colors, light colors, texture, anything you want to touch prints and skin, and so if you want to maximize an area, you do one of those things. If you want to minimize, do you want to wear something dark in that area? So, as an example, when someone's taking photos of you, if you have a whole sleeve that doesn't have anything on it, the camera also kind of wants to go to those arms and it can make them more prominent. So that's why the photographer is saying that to you. It's also some people feel that way, some people don't, so I don't know. It's some things, they can go either way.
Website photos I would say be aware of the colors of your branding. Think thoughtfully about what you're trying to communicate, and that will also inform the poses that you're doing Like. Do they seem seductive? Do they seem powerful? Do they seem approachable? Does it seem kind of girly? You want to make sure that it's not too juvenile, frankly, because a lot of times we can do things that feel a little bit cutesy. And then we look back and we're like, oh, that doesn't say give me $10,000. You know what I mean. So think about that.
Also, make sure that back to this bright colors, light colors, texture, skin and print your eye is going to go to that. So if you are making it super dominant on the top or bottom or whatever place, that's how it's going to present in the images. So if you are somebody who has a triangle shaped figure, for example, so you carry weight on the bottom, your shoulders are slimmer than your hips you can draw the eye up with bright colors, light colors etc. And dark pants and like, oh great, you're balanced, it's perfect. But if you were going to do something for your website and you had, let's say, a black crew neck top and bright red pants, you're actually just going to look more and more bottom heavy and so you're not going to be happy with it. So the more you can dress for your body, the better. Also, website photos it's better to wear clothes that are more fitted to your body than things that are oversized, and layers can look really nice too. But clean lines are pretty good and we're proportional to your frame.
0:51:31 - Betsy Jordyn
Do you want to wear solids or prints, or does it matter?
0:51:35 - Mellicia Marx
It doesn't matter depending on who you are, because if you're a print person and it really brings you joy and you feel like it's really showing your brand, then do it. But think about things being aligned with your brand and your personal style. So if you're wearing a Hawaiian print but you're telling everyone that you're conservative and thoughtful and you're in this space, that won't really make any sense. So be thoughtful on the alignment. And also, if you're wearing a print that's really tiny and it makes you look bigger, or you're wearing a print that's huge and it makes you look tiny, you want to be thoughtful. You're carrying a handbag that's little and it makes you look bigger. Or the handbag that's huge and you look like you're a 12 year old girl. Like those things all will make sense when they're on this website and they're communicating something. You want to make sure you're communicating what you want because ultimately, you control all your own messaging. That's what's so cool about it.
Like you, like I want people to think that I'm edgy. Okay, I'm putting on my leather jacket. You have the exact same outfit, like. Think about you have a white t-shirt and jeans and you're like I'm edgy. Oh, okay, have a leather jacket. Great, oh, I'm classic. Oh, now I have a blazer. Okay, I'm creative. Oh, now I have a floral like embroidered jacket. Okay, oh, I'm boho, now I have an iCat long drapey jacket. It's like all you've done has changed one thing and it's transformed the vibe that you're giving off. So just be thoughtful in your photos that you're communicating the vibe you want to be.
0:53:06 - Betsy Jordyn
I think it's interesting too that it's not that big of a shift Like I had. I was working with these two guys at the same time around their websites and one guy is a CFO and the other guys a videographer. They both were looking for button downs but the CFO got just a plain blue, you know banana republic kind of button down. The photographer I mean the videographer you know who's more fun? He got like a Robert Graham shirt that had a little bit of pattern and you had the like the cute cuffs. Or I had a client here last week. We did a whole immersion week, which was really fun, by the way, anybody who wants to experiment for a week long immersive. We pulled it off.
Last week I got one client through branding, visual branding three website copy pages, her office or offers framed up and her photographer, her photo shoot. It was really powerful, it was really cool. But she needed an accelerator because she was like at this point she needed to get this thing launched. But what was really cool is when we were shopping for her outfit. So she kind of has like this rebel kind of personality but this caretaker personality. So we got her like a jacket, this like white jacket, that kind of had, but it had like a softer fabric but it had kind of that vibe and it was so interesting, soon, as she put it on, it was just everything transformed for her in the photo shoot because it kind of had just the fabric and the white offset like the boxiness of it and she was just perfect and she was just the happiest camper in this photo shoot.
From that one little thing, I love what you're saying. Just it doesn't even have to be a lot like you just make this ship. Okay, the last part of our rapid round is for speakers, because there are certain things that you need to pay attention to, especially if somebody's going to be like snake and want a little mic down your outfit, which can be a problem if you're wearing a dress that doesn't have a belt. So any tips for speakers.
0:55:03 - Mellicia Marx
Yes, think about where you're going to be speaking. If you are on stage, are you wearing a skirt? Can people look up your skirt by accident? And so think about that same thing with if something feels a little bit low. If you're going to lean over, can people look in there? If you're wearing pants, even it's, it's like thinking about people are looking at you from all different angles. So just be cognizant that you're not accidentally revealing something, or sheer fabrics through lighting can also be see through.
So you want to be thoughtful for that and I think in general for speakers, you want a polished look, sort of no matter what because you're up there, right, but otherwise, be cognizant of your words, and so if your words are I'm fun and effortless and whatever, then make sure you're dressed for that so that it makes sense and you're speaking style. If you're somebody who's more like engaging with the crowd and you want it to be like fast and loose and everybody engaged, then wear something that is letting, giving people permission to engage with you, that you're not this untouchable person that there's a wall between you and them. In contrast, if you're like, hey, I'm an authority and I want you to understand that and respect this information and be kind of blown away by this and don't be afraid to wear something that is dressing that level or two levels or whatever it is, above what everybody else is doing. And also, if you're engaging with a particular client base you especially wealth wise you want to make sure that you show that you're at the level that you need to be. So, let's say, you're coaching wealth managers.
And to your point earlier about like, do you wear the more fun shirt or do you wear the plain Oxford or whatever?
Whichever one you're doing, you want it to be quality. So you want it to feel like that's a beautiful shirt, that's a nice shirt for somebody who, if you're talking to people who make a half a million dollars a year, if you come in and a shirt that is not that, then they don't feel like you're a peer. So you just want to be thinking about quality and I think, as one of the questions for style words, always be thinking what's my level, that I'm looking for personally, and there's no right answer. But for luxury, do I want things to feel luxurious or do I just want them to feel polished, or I just want them to feel, you know, nice, like that's all those are great, but be cognizant of what that level is and thinking about who your audience is and if there's a level that you need things to be at in order to command the salary you're going for and is there anything that just to pay attention for the mic pack that people need to be aware of, you know?
0:57:49 - Betsy Jordyn
like, just in terms of like, if you're wearing a dress, there's nowhere for the little clippy thing that are you can you tell? I've been in this scenario where there was nowhere where the little clippy thing could go in. Like, what do you do about the clippy thing?
0:58:01 - Mellicia Marx
Yeah, I mean honestly I think you think I had to try to wear something that has a belt, like you just said, because that makes it helpful. Sometimes they may have some other alternative, but really there's nothing I've seen that's better than the belt. A lot of times they can put the mic inside of your shirts. You want a shirt collar, something if you're wearing, like what I'm wearing. If I had the mic it'd be up here, and so that might be a little bit awkward.
0:58:25 - Betsy Jordyn
It was the, the pack at the bottom. Yeah, I don't you mean what I'm saying. Both yeah, yeah have a belt.
0:58:30 - Mellicia Marx
Oh yeah, hold on to it. But also, where's the mic going? And, if it's right, oh yeah, neck, it's like it's not going to be as good as if you had an open neck line and it could just kind of slips in there. So it's not.
0:58:42 - Betsy Jordyn
Oh yeah, that's a. That's a good point, because then it's like I'm comfortable on yeah, okay. And then if you have a real energetic talk, you got to. You know, wear shoes that match with your energetic talk, you know if you're going to be working the whole room and all of that.
0:58:55 - Mellicia Marx
And also shoes that are too loud, depending on the surface of the stage. So if it's going to clock, clock every time you're walking, then it's going to be distracting both to you and everybody else. If the fabrics are loud so they wrestle every time you move, everybody's going to hear that it's useful. I feel like as we run through these and creates anxiety, like, oh my god, I want to speak somewhere because all these things that can go wrong.
I don't mean it like that at all. What I mean is think about the circumstance you're going to be in and if there's any way for you to practice it on your own there or somewhere else and try it out with, will my shoes make noise? Will this fabric make noise? Is anything inappropriate happening? Where do I put the mic? Where the speakers? Where's the lighting and how am I affected by that? So if it's a hot stage, are you going to be crazy hot in a blazer, or is this actually like it's some kind of freezing cold room by some freak occurrence? And so I need that extra step and because you definitely don't want to be, you know, sweaty up there because you're dying under the lights.
1:00:02 - Betsy Jordyn
Yes, that makes a lot of sense. So I know one of your pet peeves is the boxes that people can get, the you know those kits, so I know that that's one of those things. So I my question is is like, well, what point do people need to work with someone like you and I know you've said over and over again is like, well, when you get one of those boxes that you know where they pre package everything, that's a good time. Is there other times that would say you know what? It's really time for me to work with an expert like you?
1:00:34 - Mellicia Marx
Oh my god, that's hilarious. So what you're referring to, our boxes like stitch fix, where they pick the items out and then they send it to you and you send back everything you don't want, as opposed to renting clothes, what you would do through like newly, or rent the runway, etc. And so I will clarify on these stitch fix thing. I don't have a problem with them. I think that's great. If that works for someone, I am all for it.
I will say that I have gotten a lot of clients over the years who they acknowledge for the first time that this is a problem. That's such a problem for them that they're willing to put money into trying to solve it. And when they try to invest in something like the boxes and it doesn't solve their problem, then they're like okay, now what do I do? And that's when they end up coming to me. So it's kind of a process right where you're like I feel like I need a coach. I'm going to go try to solve this on my own. It didn't work for me. Now I need to go actually find a coach that can help me. So it's a similar thing. So that's about those. I feel like what did I forget of your question, betsy?
1:01:37 - Betsy Jordyn
So when is it time for, like a consultant or coach like I would probably say, if you have a TED talk, like if I were to have in a TED talk or some sort of really important engagement, I definitely would want to get professionally styled, you know, like that kind of thing. Or if you're in transition, like from your point, like when are those like critical times for consulting a coaching business owner, to invest in someone like you to help them with their style?
1:02:02 - Mellicia Marx
Yeah for sure. So I would say I think it's really important to invest in someone to help you with your style. When a you feel like you need it, like if it's something that holds you back, if it's a mental block, if it makes it so you feel like you can't walk in that room and you can't take the pitch that you need to, or you feel like you can't speak with authority because you feel like you're feeling self conscious. Also, if you feel like you stare in front of your closet and you just don't know what to wear, if you see things that have never had the tags come off and they're still in there, if you feel like you're wasting money and you end up wearing the same five things over and over again and you have a closet full of clothes, those are all indications that a professional can help make your life better.
I would say, specifically for coaching and consultants thinking about who is your audience, what level are they at and are you dressing for that level?
And if you start to charge more and you're going to the next level and you don't feel like you're equipped to wear what you feel like you need to wear for that level is a good time.
I think for a lot of us who start out at a much lower price point because you're just getting your first clients, you're learning what you're doing, you're getting more and more comfortable and over time you raise your prices until your target market is changing and if you get to a place where that target market is wearing things that you don't feel like you're in their league or you can't sell, at that point you definitely want to engage somebody to help you. Some people start from the beginning. They definitely have clients for coaches who are like hey, I'm opening a coaching or I'm starting my own law firm and I need someone to help me from the get go. So it's really like how is it holding you back and is this creating stress in your life? Is it stopping you from feeling like your best self or like you can provide the level of service that you know you have within you? If any of those things are happening, then it's time to have someone help you with it.
1:04:07 - Betsy Jordyn
And where can people find you and can you describe, like, how you work with people, especially if they're not in the Seattle area and they still want to tap into your expertise?
1:04:18 - Mellicia Marx
Yes, so people can find me on my website. It's poplinstylecom, so P-O-P-L-I-N-S-T-Y-L-Ecom, that's the best place to find all the things. We have six weeks of style tips and a billion different other options. There's help to figure out your body type, as you were talking about earlier, pinterest boards based on body type and personal style keywords. So there's tons of tools that are free to just help you get an idea on your own. So if these things are sparking your interest, just go on the site. You'll have the time of your life really, and you can see real clients who've had this experience.
I work with folks, yeah, everywhere, which is amazing and wonderful. Thank you, zoom. So it doesn't matter where you live, there are ways for it to all come together and typically I have a very comprehensive approach with clients. It's a very intimate process and I am very honored for people to let me into such a vulnerable space, and my goal is to give each client the tools she needs to be able to master this for the rest of her life. It's a skill building kind of thing that you just never forget once you learn.
Plus, everybody gets password protected web pages that give them those tips on what to be able to wear when you're shopping, recommended retailers based on your budget, body type, lifestyle, et cetera, that are all specifically for you. And then also I create outfits for clients, using all of their new and existing pieces, so that they can just swipe on their phone each day to know what to wear or to pack for a trip. So it's the idea is make it something that just does not stress you out and not only does it make it easier, it actually makes it fun. So if you have, like, a love hate relationship with clothes, or if, over time, you used to love it but your body has changed or your lifestyle has changed or whatever, and now you're just stressed out or you feel like you're too young for this but too old for that, if you're in this kind of weird space like that's really my sweet spot.
1:06:15 - Betsy Jordyn
So somebody has like a business trip and they have to pack a lot and they need to reduce their wardrobe. Like you could really help them strategize so that everything sort of works for a longer trip without them having to check in a big bag and all of the other stuff that consultants and coaches deal with when we're traveling.
1:06:30 - Mellicia Marx
Oh yeah, I mean honestly, it's super fun because the idea is, instead of the way that I work, it's very comprehensive. And instead of saying, hey, you're going on a trip, let's work together for this one thing, or hey, you have a TED talk, let's work together for the TED talk, it's hey, let's figure out who are you and what do you want your clothes to communicate, and how do we do that, and let's get rid of everything in your closet that's not serving you. Let's supplement in items that will wrap things up, instead of acting like you don't already have awesome clothes and just getting you to buy a bunch of things. Let's see what we can leverage that you already have and then supplement with new pieces. And then let's create outfits so that now, no matter what you're doing, you have an outfit that solves that problem. Or you have a photo that has 15 different pieces. Every single thing in there goes with everything else. So if it's time to pack for a trip, you just pack those pieces and you're good to go and you've got multiple days.
1:07:20 - Betsy Jordyn
Maximize everybody's time. Yes, so we talked a lot about entrepreneurship and about style and about personal branding and being yourself and authenticity. Is there anything else that you wanna tell me and I just am not asking you the right question?
1:07:38 - Mellicia Marx
I think well, a, you always do a great job at C, so I don't know how you can smash into one. So there's that. But I would just say the most important thing about style is that you really there's no person in this world that can say, oh, you can't pull that off, that's not for you, that's for someone else. And it doesn't matter what your budget is or what your body type is or what your size is or where you live. You can always wear pieces that make you look and feel amazing and also make sense in your environment. So you don't feel like you're this crazy person at the grocery store kind of thing. But you only live once and I don't know what we're all waiting for.
I feel like every day that we're alive is a special occasion. I mean, honestly, after COVID, if we didn't need like a reminder that life is a gift and so if you're not happy with what you're wearing, you can just change it, and that's fine, and you don't have to. It doesn't have to be this huge, long, horrible struggle to change you physically, to make a change with your clothes or your style, and once you feel good about what you're wearing, you just show up in the world in a very, very different way and you get opportunities that you didn't have before and you create better memories because now you wanna go do cool stuff, because you have clothes that are suitable for cool stuff. So it just has a really profound effect on your life and there are a lot of great resources to help you get there.
1:09:08 - Betsy Jordyn
That's awesome, and I feel like if I had some singing voice, I would sing the Barbie girl song. You know, it's like we're having a perfect day and we're a Barbie girl in a Barbie world. Come on, barbie, let's go party. I love this, and I love everything that you just said, and I think what I love about what you really just wrap this all up with is you do only live once, and it's your life is now or never, and this is the chance to be your authentic self. Like Joseph Campbell says, the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are, and part of who you are is expressed externally. It's not just all inside, it's who you are and who you present to the world, and so it's not just about fashion, it's about expression, and I love everything that you said.
Thank you so much for being on the show, thank you all for listening, and I hope you are going to take this advice and live your best life and look your best as you are right now. And what's so great, you don't have to lose weight to look amazing. You could just change your outfits to match your body type. Yes, though, sign me up for that one. So thank you so much for being on the show and I will see you all next time. Thank you, bye. Thank you for tuning in. If today's episode lit a fire in you, please rate and review an offer ready on Apple Podcasts or subscribe wherever you listen. And if you're looking for your next step, visit me on my website at BetsyJordyn.com and it's Betsy Jordyn with a Y and you'll learn all about our end-to-end services that are custom designed to accelerate your success. Don't wait, start today.
