0:00:02 - Betsy Jordyn
Had enough, Ready to turn your career into your own consulting and coaching business, You're in the right place. I'm Betsy Jordan and, with my background as a consultant, entrepreneur and personal brand builder, I'm here to give you inspiration and guidance to own your brilliance, Shape your brand, articulate your message and get seen and paid as the expert that you already are. This is enough already the place for consultants and coaches to learn how to create businesses and lives that they love. Welcome everybody to this week's episode of the Enough Already podcast.
This is the show for consultants and coaches who've had enough already of whatever holds them back from forging their own path to success in their careers, their businesses and their lives, and a lot of my clients are one of those people, like I was, who left corporate to start their own business because of that midlife transition which is so scary, so confusing, and so, for this reason, I am super excited to have on the show Rajinder Rye, who is a former pharmacist turned life empowerment coach or I'm sure she's got a better title for what she's all about and she's going to tell you how you could take that very confusing, nebulous midlife journey into a catalyst to your highest potential. So, without further ado. Welcome to the show Rajinder.
0:01:19 - Rajinder Rai
Thank you, betsy, for that warm welcome and I'm so happy to be here. It's been a while since we've caught up, but so much exciting news to share with you and your audience about my midlife journey and all of the transitions that came along with it, both professionally and personally. As you mentioned, I am a pharmacist three decades owning my own pharmacies and running that, which has been amazing. But when I kind of came to my midlife crisis, as we would call it or pivot is more of the accurate word is what I would call it just came to that there was something more that was for me. You know, having a business, you're just in the grind and I didn't realize everything that was going on with me physically, emotionally, spiritually, because you're so just in your business and raising kids and you kind of almost forget about yourself and time. You think there's so much time that you have and all of a sudden I turned 50 last year and it was, wow, I'm already 50. And you know where am I going with my life? You know, to kind of backtrack, I had a little intervention with the universe because I was forced to kind of stop because of a personal health reason and my daughter kind of getting diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. So that was like a real awakening for me as a pharmacist, professionally, and as a mom of like, how did this happen? How did I let this happen? You know somebody that's like an A type personality, always wanting to be in control of everything. How did I let this happen? And it kind of started my journey of self discovery of, like, what am I doing with my life? Where am I spending my time? How am I feeling? Where do I want to go from here?
I've always wanted, you know, to do something else, you know, outside of the brick and mortar pharmacy that I have. And I was always looking, but I was in that fixed mindset of it had to do with pharmacy. You know I'm a pharmacist, it should have to do with medications. So I was, you know, going to get my board certification in geriatric medicine, believe it or not. And after my daughter's diagnosis I fell into wanting to figure out what was going on and kind of learned about functional medicine, which is more of root cause medicine. So I went to do more studying with that, you know, and training, which you know was great, where I, where I was able now to help clients really kind of figure out what was going on beyond that quick fix of, you know, getting a being the pharmacist providing the medication for my patients.
But even then I really felt like there was something more. My, you know, my clients were getting better, but there was still something missing, you know it. I was not, I didn't feel I was getting the results that I could with them. And so I, further again, along with my own personal journey, as I was, you know, opening up my horizons and realizing things that I wanted more out of life, I fell into the teachings of feminine energy, which you know, I think you know, running your own business and being in a clinical mindset. I had like completely disconnected, you know, from that thought process because I'm a doer, like put out the fire, you know, whatever needed to get done. You're just like very linear in your thinking, and I didn't realize how disconnected I really was with my own intuition and trust.
And a lot of the choices that I was making was based on running on the sphere of. You know, my productivity was based on how well the pharmacies did. So my whole identity was tied into my work, which a lot of us, men and women, you know. We have that identity and our work is so part of it. You know, regardless of you know owning your own business or being in corporate or being an employee, wherever you are, that identity is so tied with us and I feel like when you're in midlife, as your body is changing, it's a great opportunity to start taking some of those layers off and really start learning who you are and what is it that you want out of your. You know, not as a mom, not as a daughter, not as a wife, not as a pharmacist, whatever your titles and roles may be. And as I learned about tapping into my own feminine energy, I realized who I was. And so here we are.
0:06:55 - Betsy Jordyn
That is a lot to unpack. There's so much power in everything that you're saying. I want to break things down to smaller parts, because what I'm hearing you say is like at the beginning stage, like where you were when we were sort of like at the ordinary day at the office. You know you were running not, you were not just a pharmacist, but you own a pharmacy. That was very successful and it sounds like there were seeds of the discontent that was going on even when you were there, like, oh, I wonder if there's more. I think I could do more. And then the catalyst for you was your own health issues and your daughter's diagnosis. That was like your wake up call. Is that accurate?
0:07:34 - Rajinder Rai
Yes, yeah, I was, you know again, I, you know, I thought I was a great pharmacist, doing everything that you know my patients needed, but I was limited, you know, in what I can do. I, you know, I felt I mean at the time I didn't realize it, but I was boxed in as my role and with that I realized there was so much more that I could be doing. And you know, you're comfortable, you're, you know I, you know we have multiple pharmacies, so the business was doing well and I should be thinking about just retiring. But you know, after I, you know, went through the treatment with my daughter, I realized that I would. You know, we were very lucky that I'm in the healthcare field and I was able to ask certain questions, navigate it, but it was still overwhelming. At the end of the day, I was a mom and I, you know, wanted to protect my daughter and navigating the health system, even for somebody in the health, as a health professional, was very difficult.
0:08:45 - Betsy Jordyn
And then so it sounds like at that, that point where you were at that like discontent and wake up call, you applied your analytical mind to say, I just need to figure out what the heck's going on here, like I need to come up with another solution to help my daughter. And I got to figure out what's going on with me. And it seems like you applied your analytical mind to say I got to figure out what's going on here and, just like from your training, you used your natural strengths to make sense out of the confusion. Is that, is that accurate? Or you just I, just like I, you just went with the hunger, like I just got to know why what's going on.
0:09:21 - Rajinder Rai
No, I think you're you. You put it in the right terms. It was that way because it was a little bit of you know the guilt, of you know like how to you know she was 18 years old, like how does that happen? And and there was that the hunger of knowing why. I think prior to that, you know I, my health, you know conditions. I never asked why it was. You know I, it was about 10 years prior that I had my own health conditions. I just went right back to work because, again, my whole identity was on you know my work. If I wasn't productive, if I wasn't working, then who was I? You know what value was I bringing?
0:10:08 - Betsy Jordyn
I'm sure nobody's listening and understands the identity, the challenge of your identity being tied to your job.
Like I totally get that Like. That's one of the like. To me it's switching from my consulting business to what I do now as a brand messaging person and a marketing person and all those things. It was like oh my gosh to embrace that I had to let go of this identity. I had to close down the consulting business. I had to stop associating myself with consulting as, like me, being the consultant to be this business mentor. How did you go through that? Cause that was really hard for me and I know it's really hard for a lot of people are listening is the whole idea of letting go of an old identity to embrace what's there like what tips or or recommendations you would have around. Like, okay, how do I go of my identity as a, a pharmacist and who I was? How did you? How did you do that?
0:10:59 - Rajinder Rai
Yeah, and it's. It was really hard to be honest because for me, that's all I've ever known, and so everything you know that I associated my success with was my success as a pharmacist, a pharmacy owner. But I realized, when you start creating space for yourself, the first and foremost was that I had to start taking care of my physical health. I was one of those people that were like, oh, I don't need sleep, I can function on four hours and operate and I'm super mom, super woman.
I wore that badge very proudly and probably condescending to other people that felt like they needed to slow down and rest, to be transparent. But I realized it wasn't until after my daughter's treatment, as corny as it sounds. I walked by a mirror and got a glance of me, like a side profile, and I didn't recognize who I was and it was just like. At that moment I was like I don't know who this is and I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I was tired, I had gained weight, I was bitter there's a lot of just different emotions, but I didn't know what it was at the time. I just didn't know what was going on.
0:12:35 - Betsy Jordyn
And so the first step so you didn't immediately just say, ok, I'm not going to be this person. It was more like a recognition of like, ok, so your step one is really just like facing that reality, like that Sue Munkid quote where she says that the truth may set you free but it'll shake up the sweet life that you were living, something along those lines. I don't remember the exact quote, but something along those lines is you saw yourself in the mirror and you're like, oh my gosh, and then you had to sit with that reality of who have I become? And then you had to take action.
0:13:11 - Rajinder Rai
And then self.
0:13:13 - Betsy Jordyn
So step one was that recognition stuff too was sounds like some radical self care.
0:13:18 - Rajinder Rai
Right. So I think what happens is that sometimes we don't want to be quiet with ourselves and really look in the mirror. I mean, I know we look in the mirror every day when we're getting ready, but do we really look in the mirror? Oh, that's a good distinction, and so.
I think that's what it was, and so I knew things were changing with me, but I was ignoring it, and it's easier to stay busy in what you're doing, whether you're throwing yourself into your family, whether you're throwing yourself into your career, your business, and use that almost as a crutch like, ok, I'm too busy, because you don't want to be quiet with yourself.
And I think, like you said, that first step was recognition that this is not right, there's something off, and so with that, I had to sit with myself and start looking at what are these feelings that are coming up and where are they coming from. And for me, the first thing was I didn't physically feel healthy, and so that was the first step of realizing that I needed to change. As I was doing the functional medicine studies, I realized there is a lot of things that caused inflammation in my body, excuse me, and it would be from the foods I was eating to not sleeping properly. So a lot of just simple changes that made huge impact where you're just starting to learn to put yourself first, and in the beginning you think it's selfish that, oh, I'm taking time away from family and business where I should be, but you're your biggest asset, and so interesting.
0:15:14 - Betsy Jordyn
I'm sorry, I have to. There's a memory that's jogging in me when you're saying that, I remember when we were working on your branding and your website copy. I think you have a framework that you call the POS model or something like that.
Like now. I realize that is right. You have that model. So that's why POS is so important to you. It's not just some fun acronym. It seems like the heart of what you were talking about, could you? So, if that's accurate, can you share a little bit more? Because I feel like this seems to be the big differentiation is like OK, you're at that crossroads and you're saying POS, and you could have looked in the mirror and just walked on, but you decided no, I'm going to really take in what I'm seeing and use this as a moment of POS.
0:16:04 - Rajinder Rai
Right and there's even at that moment, like you said, you could either just ignore it and continue and just be on your path that you're on. You could also just say I need a quick fix and seek out whatever that quick fix would be for you at that moment, or you take that pause and what the acronym really stands for is taking you through stages of what I went through and what I take my clients through is to really understand P for power. Where is your power being drained and where is your power surge? So it's looking at.
0:16:47 - Betsy Jordyn
So that's why you went, and your first step was I'm going to work on sleeping and I'm working on the whole thing, physical, yeah, so go on Power. So power for you is energy, energy related to your physicality, right?
0:17:00 - Rajinder Rai
So physical, like also just learning to be present. There's so many P words in there, but really it's the power of now, bringing yourself into that present moment. I'm not thinking about the past and I'm not thinking about the future, like where are my kids going to be, where am I going to be? I'm talking about in the moment. And then A is awakened to now get off of that autopilot. The way you've been running things, letting things on auto mode of, get up in the morning time, you have your routine, get to work and then you come home and, whatever it is, you're just on autopilot just to get things going. The real key was then you, which is un-.
0:17:44 - Betsy Jordyn
Well, I mean, I don't want to leave the A yet. There's too much in the A. I don't want to leave the A yet so awakened for you, because that could sound like some sort of woo-woo spirituality kind of thing. But it seems like awaken is sort of intentionality, or it sounds like there's a little bit of attunement and intentionality of like I'm going to tune into my life and I'm going to tap into more of what I want and intuition, or how do you, can you put a non-woo version for those who are?
0:18:17 - Rajinder Rai
not really spiritual. What do you mean by awakened? Well, for me it's to. For me, again, it was. You're on autopilot, because you know you have to again, the those people that are in that grind mode where I was. You're just on the go. You have a plan in your head. It's not that you don't have direction, you know, but the thing is you've just said you're not aware of what else is going on.
You may be ignoring your body, you may be ignoring cues from people, from even your business, like sometimes you're just in that zone where you're just not aware of what else is going on, and so to awaken out of that is like, ok, it's time to take the driver's seat yourself and take some of that self-responsibility.
I think it's more of what it is and whatever that may be. Ok, maybe you need to start taking self-responsibility in your business, your professional life, your personal life as well too, whereas you're just coasting, and I think that that is what it is, and even with the woo-woo it is. I mean, again, being a pharmacist, I was like completely on one end, and now, doing this self-discovery, I feel like there is a place for that as well, too, where it is kind of like a fog lifting of, almost like running life in rose-colored glasses, like you are seeing what you want to see, and so that awakening could also be that okay, sometimes you have to face the reality of what's going on. You are getting older and what you were doing before may not work, like, maybe, long nights not sleeping, not eating properly, traveling a lot. Whatever it may be, may have worked the way you worked out, but now it's time to like okay, let's awaken to. You're hitting a certain stage in life, you're physically, physiologically changing and so you need to make some changes in your life.
0:20:30 - Betsy Jordyn
Okay. So I think this is starting to become clear on this whole pathway of what do you do in midlife. So the current state where somebody's starting off is everything's great until it stops. So now I've had this amazing career and all of a sudden I'm starting to hear those whispered that there's something more, there's something more, there's something more don't know exactly what it is and then some sort of catalyst happens, like for you, there was health issues in your daughter and then so the first step, really in terms of the process, that's the current state. So the steps between we're going to get to what that future state's going to be.
But, the first step is the P, which is the power of like your own energy and really taking care of like. It's almost like triaging your health thing, getting sleep, reversing all of that stuff and then the work begins. So you've gotten yourself, you know, energetically in a better state, because you can't really, it seems like you can't really do all of this work until, energetically, you get in a better state. And A is the awakening. And it seems like the awakening is about pulling the lens back and saying, looking at your life more holistically, saying it's not just like I'm an autopilot, like this is what I do with my career, this is my routines. It's taking a look back and say, all right, now am I living a life that's in alignment with whatever new values?
or new experiences are coming up in me, and am I living in that alignment? And so it could be a variety of different things, but it seems like what you're saying is before you were kind of like tossed around by fate and you just sort of going along with it, and now it's time to move into the destiny kind of zone where it's like, all right, I'm taking responsibility for my life and making choices more intentionally. What would bring more alignment to the new values that are starting to emerge? That's the A. Am I hearing that right?
0:22:11 - Rajinder Rai
Yeah, no, you explained it very well. I think that's what it is. Is that again, in midlife both men and women you come to where there is changes in your body and that's kind of like the rattle you don't need to have. In my case, I had some major life issues that woke me up. But we all know that you're hitting 40, 40 plus. Your body is changing and so you can be proactive with what you want to do in life and instead of waiting till that crisis per se. But the next layer of it is that even when you do that, you have the problem with people retracting back to old comfort. That's where creatures of habit is that you have to unravel stories and conditioning that we've had. So for me, I think that's the you unravel.
0:23:15 - Betsy Jordyn
Oh good, I love that.
0:23:17 - Rajinder Rai
Okay.
0:23:18 - Betsy Jordyn
So we've gotten our energy back. We've taken the bigger lens. Now we see what's what and what's not an alignment. Now we're unraveling. I love this. Okay, go on, I'm excited.
0:23:28 - Rajinder Rai
So, yeah, so the unravel is basically now looking at these stories and so, again, with my clients, we would get to a certain point and then they would retract backwards and I'd be like there's something wrong. What am I doing? And I realized what it is is, until you replace that story or that belief with the new story, nothing is going to change. That's true. That's where, basically, you know, when you asked me, how did you change? You know from the rule. You know my identity as a pharmacist and now my debt.
My identity as a Rajinder really is because I had to unravel these stories and and things that I didn't even realize I was holding on to from. You know, when I was seven, eight years old, of something that happened on the, you know, at school and second grade, and I didn't get picked for a play and and still, you know, somehow was in my brain psyche somewhere. But what it is is that you get told these stories about. You know this is the way to do something, this is what productivity is, this is what success is, this is what you know being healthy is, and so you have this. You know preconditioning that. You know if you don't fit into it, that's where, again our fears come up and where you're always in that defense mode or that sympathetic mode, right.
And so, especially when you're in midlife, if you're always operating in that sympathetic, fight, flight, flea mode, frozen mode they even call it you're not going to. You know you're going to. That's where you start having health issues because you're running on cortisol instead of the other hormones that you need to operate. And so, without going down that rabbit hole, but in general you're always on defense where your body, even though you may not think that you're under any kind of stress, is perceiving stress, so that perceives stress.
Your body doesn't know the difference, and so that's when you know inflammation happens, sleep disturbances, you know other chronic conditions can come up, and so, again, that stage of life, you know it's not an overnight thing, this is an accumulation of how you've been living your life up until now, and so the unraveling is really now taking some of those stories, some of that preconditioning. It could be cultural, it could be you know in your family of what is going on. That. Why do you feel that? You know you're in this fixed mindset is what I would call it. That I'm a pharmacist.
You know my role and so that is all I'm capable of doing, versus to now, where I have opened up possibilities because I feel like I can do more than just you know the role of my, you know, being a pharmacist not, you know, I love being a pharmacist. But what I mean is that I've opened up who I am and who I can work with and how I can work with them. But I never thought about that like a few years ago, because I thought this is my role and this is my bubble and I'm going to stay in that bubble. It wasn't until I, you know, I was able to shift myself into this growth mindset which I think for anyone that's, you know, an entrepreneur to have a successful business again, both men and women you have to go through this almost identity shift, of that you are capable of these possibilities, it's one to manifest but then to embody that this is what you want is is you have to do that?
0:27:15 - Betsy Jordyn
So it's interesting is like that to me, in my experience, first as an individual and as a business mentor and I work with people and their stories and their fears all the time is I feel like that there's some stories that you can. You know, you can kind of shift with a little bit of awareness, like, okay, like you know, like no, I can't learn marketing, you know to, I can learn marketing. But some of the other stories, like my identity is like this is who I am, or some other ones like they're a little bit more resistant, you know. So what do you do with, like the more resistant stories? And why are some of these stories like really resistant? Because that seems like that's the big thing is, we have to take on this myth and stories.
I am my job title, I am the company that I used to be affiliated with, or even now I am my company, I am my work rather than I am me who's doing work, and this is an expression of who I am, but it's not who I am. You know, why is that like, what do you do with some of those stories that are very resistant? They are you could you have to do like what do you do with them and why?
0:28:18 - Rajinder Rai
are they so resistant? It's a process. It's not something that, you know, again, a quick fix, and so there's usually some deep rooted story within. You know, for women, a lot of times it has to do with, you know, guilt or that shame, or people pleasing, you know, not feeling enough and almost even the invisibility. You know I'm, you know, South Asian and so it's very, it was very hard, like for me to come out and be more public, because you're supposed to be more reserved and you are supposed to be quiet, and in fact, even when I started working as a pharmacist, it was really hard for me to look at people in their eye, because looking at somebody's, you know, in their eye was disrespectful. You know, just, you know, even back back then I had to, like, learn all of this, and now it's kind of, you know, the I had to understand about.
First, you know, again, you have to be in that energetic stage of where you feel the energy to even want to do something. You give yourself that space to start thinking and listening to your thoughts. You know that awareness and then the unraveling is really trying to like, why not you? You know, why not me? What is the reason that is holding you back and so really going through and this is kind of like the work that I do now is really kind of in that stage of unravel is to really take my clients through that process of what is those stories and what is really holding you back from having the life, having the career, having the business that you really want, because you know we can all work hard.
You know, in my pharmacy world, you know again, we have created a really successful business, but I boxed myself in when I started. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't have a plan other than it being successful, but I didn't have a vision of what success meant. So I think the unraveling also is to really understand who you are and what it means to be successful for you and then to create that life that way. And sometimes what's holding you back could be some stories that you were holding on to interaction you had with somebody you know, anything from previously where you have not brought that part of your life to the present.
0:31:03 - Betsy Jordyn
Got it. So we're getting our energy, we're getting them bigger perspective. Now we're unraveling, you know, all the different myth stories, things that are kind of holding us back from whatever it is that we want, and unraveling even what is we ultimately want. So, assuming we're getting to something funner at us, because it seems like that was all hard work, what's happening?
0:31:23 - Rajinder Rai
Yes, well, as as a self. I feel like that is where you're giving yourself space to really start taking care of yourself. Again, for me, like you know, I've always been like oh, whatever the kids need, put them first. You know, whatever the business needs, put the business first. You know family, everything. And to even think, like you know, as something as simple as like okay, I'm going to take an hour out to go get my nails done, I would have to think do I have time this week to do it? No, as simple as something like that.
0:31:55 - Betsy Jordyn
And self care is such, which is crazy because a business owner like we're the worst bosses, like we are worse than any of our worst bosses, like why shouldn't you be able to take your nail? Get your nails done in the middle?
0:32:07 - Rajinder Rai
of a work day, but so we, you know that, and self care is like again, a term that's used loosely for anything and what it means to you, and so for me, what I found is that the space I need is my own silent space. My mornings are really important to me, where I will wake up early, when nobody else is awake and it's quiet, and that is my time just to be with myself, and that, like you know. You know thoughts come through, like sometimes when I'm creating content or creating. You know my programs and I spend my, my time and I spend the mornings. You know I listen to mantras. Sometimes it's just quiet. You know my workouts are in the morning time. Everything that I want to do for myself is during that time, and so beautiful too, because they're you know we're at get on the airplane.
0:33:01 - Betsy Jordyn
I remember when I was, my kids were little, you know, I've always tuned out that whole. I put your mask on and I had, like these I had my little like baby and my toddler sit next to me and they're, like you know, put your mask on. I'm like what are you kidding? Like there's no way. I'm like it's going straight there. But then, as I got an older, like I have to because I'll never be a person that I need to be for them. And that's so hard and I love what you're talking about here is, literally, before anything else happens, put your mask on what gives you energy, what allows you to be the best version of yourself. That seems to be it's like self care. Seems like you're taking self care out of like that, just in a bubble bath, and you know you could play golf once in a while to something a little bit more significant around.
What gives, what allows me to be the best version of myself and make sure that that I have what I need for the rest of the day, yeah, and, and it's something that needs, it's not like a one off.
0:33:56 - Rajinder Rai
So it's something that I give myself every day, you know, because that, like you said, that that is what I need to kind of operate the rest of the day and and show up as a Rajinder and then show up as a pharmacist, show up as mom, as a wife, as a daughter, what you know. Everything else that comes secondary, because I took care of her gender first and I think again, and it should be the same whether it's men or women, right, it's. It's like. That principle is there for all of us, because if we are showing up as the best version of ourselves individually, then you collectively will come together better. You know, make better decisions.
You know your reactions are different. You know stress is always going to be there, like you know. You know, even after doing all of the work that I've done, it's not like my stress load has reduced. It's actually probably worse. But my stress load has changed, my taking it personally and, you know, internalizing what's happening around me as my fault, has changed, and I think that is huge, because it's so natural for us to do that, and I think I, you know I have given myself that space to step back and to look at the bigger picture and and make decisions based on what I need to do that's best for me and not feel guilty about and I think that is one of the other things is that a lot of times that you know you may create these rituals, you know for yourself, but then you're like in guilt mode for so long to get over that. Oh my gosh, I did this, and then you know that it kind of defeats that whole purpose. And so I think that that creating space is like to freely create space for yourself, without the guilt, without judgment. You know that if you are healthy, especially as women, I feel like you know I'm biased, I'm a woman, I'm going to say that you know we're the new keyless of our, of our bubble, and so if you are healthy, then you know everyone around you will be healthy and that is so important that it's it's like you know, beyond wearing that mask, it's like actually, like you said, if something was to happen, I'm going to grab my kids first, right, that's the mode you would go into.
The same thing, like you know, when my daughter was diagnosed, I was like I don't really care about myself. You know, when she was going to I, you know it was almost like self torturing, that like she's going through this. How can I be happy? You know she's suffering, I should be suffering along with her. It's automatic to kind of go into that mode.
But then you realize it is actually my kids that pointed some of these things out is that, you know, when I tell them, you know again, as I've been going through my own personal you know self discovery and journey that you know I'm like sharing with them, like, oh, you should do this. And you know relax and and you know there need to be balance. And then they called me out. Well, mom, when do you ever relax?
So I realized that you know, as adults parents, mentors you have to. It's, it's what you're doing that they're seeing. It's not like you you could have these great protocols and you could have great advice and you can talk to people and tell them what to do, but if you don't embody what you say and actually practice it there's. You know they're learning by your actions. And so then I realized that okay, I can just talk about it. I have to actually embody. And that was really when I fell into again. You know that self discovery mode for myself, and I think that's where the s came in, where you know what. Why do I feel guilty for taking time? Well, that's why they use.
0:37:56 - Betsy Jordyn
So important is to get rid of that myth so that you can create that space Right.
But I love what you're talking about, because it's not about right words, is about right action, you know, and really pursuing right action. But I like how you're talking about with your self care routine that you could say, well, you know, you got to wake up and you got to go for, you know, hard work out and all of that. And that feels like masculine, masculine, masculine, like got to do that. But it seems like there's a balance like, yes, you're going to do that and you're going to do your mantras, you know, and you're going to do creative time. And it feels like when a self care standpoint, you know, for men and women, we just have to be balanced between you know, like the, you know the, you know you're going to get out from that standpoint and the receiving and the chill and the and the. Putting those together kind of gives you that, that that sense of self, so that you can be your best version, you know, as you go throughout your day.
0:38:48 - Rajinder Rai
That's really great, yeah, I think and I think you know, just to finish that off is that it's different for each person. Yeah, the thing is you could have like a framework of like yes, journal or, you know, work out, but you have to find what works for you, what's going to stick, you know, and so I've you know, for me that's. I do certain things where I know if I have a personal trainer, I'm going to work out. So twice a week I work out with a personal trainer.
Going to the gym just doesn't work for me because I like, right, I want to get it done early in the morning time. So signing up for gym classes or membership is not, is a waste for me. So you know, I think the you know for your audience it's like there is no one you know set way of doing self care or creating that space for yourself. And some people you know it could be, they enjoy cooking, so they want to cook. You know they infuse their creativity in it, but it's something where you are feeling you know it's your space is the way I would best describe it.
0:39:54 - Betsy Jordyn
It's almost like tapping into, like what do I need in order to be the best version of myself? Like that's the question is what do I need, what allows me to be the most calm, centered version, and just doing that without the guilt?
0:40:08 - Rajinder Rai
Yeah, and, and you know what I? You know you say calm and centered. You know there is this version like where everybody thinks, okay, you're Zen or something. You know life is dynamic. Okay, I just want to be real with it, you know. You know just like things are going to go up and down, but creating that space just allows you to bounce back quicker. Yes, you know. So don't think that okay, that if things are happening to you you're doing something wrong, or or you know there's points where I have my highs and I have my lows even now, but what I've, like I said, I'm able to do is I can just step back because, yeah, have that place and it's almost like there's muscle memory of some way of like, knowing, like, okay, I know what it likes.
0:40:54 - Betsy Jordyn
If you'd like to be centered, I know what I need to be centered, I know when I'm off centered and I know how to get myself back to center, but doesn't mean that you're not going to. It's kind of like the waves on the ocean. Like you, if you learn how to stand at the end of the ocean, no matter what the waves are, then it's like okay, the waves are going to keep coming, but I could stay stationary. Right, I might go like this, but I'm still going to stay stationary. And I like the whole idea of like really making it customized, because a lot of times you know, especially high achievers, you see everybody else doing things. This is one of the things I always talk with my clients about when they are working on the marketing is you've got to let go of like what, noticing what everybody else is doing?
And if you don't like going to networking events, then don't go to networking events. You know, if you don't like going social media, then don't social media. There's a thousand other ways that you can attract clients and create awareness. But I think, as high achievers, we're just so, we're so susceptible, like well, they're doing that. So I guess I should add that to my to-do list, and I should add that to my to-do list, and I should add that to my to-do list. Somebody might be listening. It's like well, you have a personal trainer, well, I want a personal trainer. Where it really is about me, like what do I need? You know, for me, I'm like you. I need my morning routines. You know, for my husband, he likes to go skiing. You know, we just moved to Denver, so skiing was like very meditative for him you know, and it made him feel accomplished.
So everybody's different. You know I have some clients who are men who just they love, like, you know, if I could just put golf, you know, four hours a week, get some golf in there, you know that does a huge amount for me, you know, and it's like, whatever it looks like for you, all right, I'm excited to get to the E now, because now I feel like we're coming home.
0:42:30 - Rajinder Rai
So we got our.
0:42:31 - Betsy Jordyn
we're trios are energy we have we've gone to the awakening, now we are wait. What's the A again? No wait, the awakening is the A, and then you is unraveling. And now we have self self care self connected with self. Yay, okay, space All right, ready for E?
0:42:52 - Rajinder Rai
Yeah. So originally, when we were, when I created it, he was embrace, to be honest, and I thought, okay, you're going to embrace your, you know, your best version of yourself. But since you know we, when I first created it, I, the E, is actually elevate because I am all about vibrations and energy. And so elevate to me is now you have come into a space where you know who you are, you know, and you are also now attracting that into your you know environment, to you. So you know, by an example is that you know I was in my pharmacy mode. You know I was in my bubble. Everything I did was in pharmacy world. You know it was doom and gloom and the people around me, you know, were complaint. You know there's complaints, da, da, da, da. And now, where I'm out in my life, I kid you not, there isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't get a message from somebody that is opening a door for something else or an opportunity and so forth. Because now I feel like I have also come into a different level for myself and I am attracting that energy because I am willing to receive it, whereas before I was shut down, disconnected and I wasn't. Things may have been coming my way and I had no idea before, and so I feel like that is why the end of it is really to elevate, because now you are at a whole different.
You know, even if you're, you know thinking about the was it Maslow's pyramid of where, what level you're at, you know your basic needs to your psychological needs and so forth.
So by the time you're, you know, you know, have gone through these stages, you're at that. You know the more self actualization where you're thinking about what is life where you at, and you're thinking much bigger than just those basic needs. You know, whereas you were in survival mode of just getting through the day, you know building a business and all of that. Now you're more in, okay, I can enjoy life and there's so much purpose to life and there's so much possibility and more in that abundance mindset. And I will be the first person to say that. You know, again, I was like what is I don't? I mean, I know hard work and I know what it takes to build, build, build and I come full circle to you know, everything is energetic and if you were at that stage of your life or in that level where you're elevated things will come to you because you're going to be aware you've, you know you've unraveled the clutter so that you're able to have the space to receive that energy, and so that's kind of what we've, what I've done.
0:46:03 - Betsy Jordyn
So I think it's so interesting that the pause model begins and ends with energy. You know that you begin with just like triaging, almost like where the energy drains are, and it's like you're not like. It seems like in the P part. I mean, yeah, in the P part you're just like you're just plugging up the holes, you know just getting to stasis and then when you get to the end, you know where you're elevating is. It's like you have a different energy, not just like in terms of like oh, I, I'm not tired at the end of the day, but it's certain vibrational energy. You know that you started off here, so it sounds like in the terms of like the that you go here is. Here's the ordinary day of the office where I'm like in this, like wake up time, where it's like all right, I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I have my choices to what I could do here. I can go for a quick fix, I can say forget it, I don't even care, I'm just going to keep in my old identity.
Or you could do the pause. And then you go through this whole thing and it seems like on the other side is a life of abundance, purpose, self actualization, all those things on the other side. And so the pause model really moves you out of that survival mode into, you know, the the higher on the Maslow. That's the where the outcome is. And so then you could activate whatever your purposes. And I know that that's a huge question that so many people have at midlife is who am I, what do I want, what's my purpose? That's what they want to know. And the pause, it's the power of the pause, that will help you either activate that purpose or squelch that purpose. If you embrace the pause, you can activate it. If you ignore it, you're you're going to squelch it.
0:47:40 - Rajinder Rai
Yeah, no, I. You've kind of just summed it up in one minute. Okay, so this is so powerful?
0:47:52 - Betsy Jordyn
and I want to talk a little bit more about like how, because now it's like okay, good, I got the summary, but now people are wondering well, what do I do with it? How do I go through the pause? And I know you have individual programs, you have group programs. You just recently launched your website in concurrence with your 50th birthday. Yay, because that was one of the things we were working on. So talk to me about how people can find you and tell me more about your one-on-one coaching, the group programs or anything else that you've got going on, and how they can find you and sign up.
0:48:24 - Rajinder Rai
Yes, thank you. Yeah, so we have, you know, on the website, wwwsunrisecom. So it's S-U-N-R-A-I-S with my name, sunrisehealthcom. And individually. You know I am a very strong believer of working one-on-one. I think you know even you and I when we worked we worked one-on-one. I've signed up for different programs. That's just not me. You know where I've got modules that I have not even finished still. So I am that type of person where you know giving that attention is what's needed. This is, you know, that pause and it's like you get the full attention again. Going through stages, three stages is what we work with the physical health first, to kind of really see what's going on, and we use the pause methodology infused into the work of really how we can get you physically healthy.
0:49:28 - Betsy Jordyn
So I want to emphasize something on this one. I think what's really cool about what you're talking about is getting physically healthy is you do have a medical background with your coaching. So you have your functional medicine, you have your traditional medicine that allowed you and you have your coaching. So when you have somebody like, that's a really unique distinction. So when you are offering that, you know people really need to understand that it's not like you're just over here and you're having somebody who's just working with one part of you and you're not working with somebody who's just like a coach and it's just going to talk about that.
You're really bringing this together in terms of the whole person. Yeah.
0:50:06 - Rajinder Rai
I think the dynamic part is that you know although I'm not leaning in as a pharmacist, the knowledge and the expertise is always with me.
So you are, like you said, getting that package and the knowledge of functional medicine and what labs mean, because a lot of times you know if you just use one example you get labs and you're told that you're everything's normal, you're within normal, when most of the time you know that you don't feel good, something is off. But you get this, you know clean bill of health, that you're healthy, and so that is the part of like okay, what's going on, that's creating that and that is more with the lifestyle. So you know I'm not providing medical advice, but it is like going and looking at your lifestyle and and helping you know my clients make those right choices and really understand what their labs mean and so forth, so that they can make better choices and and be more informed and and be their own advocate when they're working with their medical provider as well too, so that they know what questions to ask and you know what, what tests they should be having as well and what do they mean, because that in itself is really important.
0:51:20 - Betsy Jordyn
That's huge. That's such a huge thing that you have that perspective that, yes, they might go to a regular doctor, integrative health doctor, but be in this phase. You're helping them. So this is phase one, is get their physical help together. What's the second?
0:51:34 - Rajinder Rai
phase. Then we start looking at, you know, their mental health and so with that you know, now that they got a little bit more energy, then we can start looking at again what is going on, their emotions and so forth. And again, not being a therapist, but a lot of it is tied into. What are those stories? What is, you know, kind of like, again delving into the pause methodology of what is creating that stress in your life, what is holding you back? You know what are some of the things that we can start implementing and that could be like, again, a strong morning routine, or maybe it's your evening routine, the meditation.
All of that is part of even journaling, as simple as it may sound. It's nice to get things out of your head and onto paper and adding different modalities. Again, it's a lifestyle. We're recreating things that we've never, we. These things were not modeled for us and we weren't taught, and so it's like relearning how to be an adult, you know, and bring that, bring those other aspects of you know what is success and how does it look like, and you know un-layering all of that.
0:52:48 - Betsy Jordyn
So we got with our body and our heart and mind, like what's the third phase then?
0:52:54 - Rajinder Rai
Third phase is spirituality, and so for me that is the most important. That's like your connection, your connection to self, your connection to others and connection to a higher power, being the nature you know, whatever how, whatever your beliefs are, you know with that, but that connection is what I found I was missing, you know, even though I physically was fit and you know I had a good mindset, I know you know I had a good drive, but what I was missing was that connection and that connection to myself, that trust with myself. And so, again, you can't start with that right away, because you have to have the energy to give yourself that space, and so, and then you can't again give yourself that space until you unravel some of the weight you're carrying.
0:53:51 - Betsy Jordyn
So it's like you're going up the Maslow, like you're you go in that order or somebody's you know chakra system, you're going up those order all the way out to the top.
0:54:01 - Rajinder Rai
So that's right. So what I?
0:54:02 - Betsy Jordyn
think is really cool too about what you're describing as your coaching is.
it's not like you have to get rid of anybody else that you might be working with, but you can get more value out of it, Like so you're the one who's going to make sure like it's not like whatever your spiritual practice is like, this is going to replace it, or what you might do with your therapist, or what you might do from your with your regular doctor, or your workouts, or whatever you're actually doing. It's not like you're changing everything. It's just you're going to create more value out of it and put more intentionality to the whole experience.
0:54:31 - Rajinder Rai
Yeah, no, I, I. It's always that you know my clients. The first and foremost is that you know what you should still be working with a provider. You know I'm not. You know, regardless of me being licensed as a pharmacist, I am not. You know, I'm here as your wellness coach and not, and so if you're in therapy, you know that is still there. It's. I think it's just understanding that there's so many different dots to connect and I am basically helping you guide connecting those dots, and so you're like an organizational consultant for people where it's like you take your systems thinking and you help them like you know, align up their internal system just like an, like an organizational consultant will go in an organization.
0:55:19 - Betsy Jordyn
So we talked about a lot of different things today. It's been so amazing, so we talked a lot about. I love your pause model, and is that on your website as well?
0:55:28 - Rajinder Rai
It is on my website, yeah, and then we, you know, social. You know we're active on social media Instagram at sunrise health, linkedin. I'm very active, so if anybody wants to connect, you know, please feel free to connect with me there. We are also, which I'm really excited about because I am an in-person, energetic, you know, vibe. We will be, in the new year, creating different experiences each quarter. So what we did was we broke the year down into four quarters, and so it will be reimagined the first quarter, then renewal for a second quarter, and then revive and then revolve, so again infusing the whole pause methodology. And this will be more for those people that are not ready to do the full work, but they can join in the membership and we will take you through the year in a slower process, but also using the same methodology, where we will have virtual events. You have access. You will have access to the you know experts we have coming in, but then also in-person events as well too, which you know we'll do in different areas.
0:56:54 - Betsy Jordyn
Awesome. Okay, so we talked about love that and I love the fact that you're going to break it out. So you have all this customization. I love that personalized support and that customization. So we talked about a lot of different things of what can happen to a high achiever at midlife, and we talked about the pause model. We talked about so many different things. Is there anything else that you would want to tell me about midlife reinvention? And I just didn't ask you the right questions?
0:57:19 - Rajinder Rai
No, I think the last thing I would really say it's never too early and it's never too late. Ooh, you know, and I think, because that was one of my things like you know, midlife and menopause are interchanged. You know, menopause for women is one stage, you know, a big stage, but just one stage of midlife Midlife there's so many other things that are going on and it is, you know, the time that you have the opportunity to put yourself first and opportunity to do the things that perhaps you put on the back burner because other stuff came in your way, and there's no reason that you shouldn't. And so I think, again, it's, you know, it's the best time I feel, the best that I've ever felt in my whole life. I feel like there's so many opportunities that are just awaiting.
I, you know, the best way I feel like is, like, you know, when I was a young girl, I loved playing in the park. I mean, it's that same feeling of freedom, of like, you know, like jumping off of that swing and not worrying about if I'm going to land or not. I used to do that, and so that adventure is back. That, you know, I was always, you know, for some some time, like you, I went to pharmacy school, became a pharmacist, became a mom. I became so guarded and, you know, protective of everything, that I that whole adventure kind of just softened. And so I think, with this for me personally, I think that is what's come out is that there's possibilities in everything and it's now it's. The choices are there for me to make.
0:59:15 - Betsy Jordyn
Wonderful. It's never too early. It's never too late to work on becoming who you actually always were.
0:59:22 - Rajinder Rai
Yeah that's awesome.
0:59:24 - Betsy Jordyn
Thank you so much for being on the show and for all of you who are listening in. Thank you so much, and until next time I will actually I don't even suck at the endings too, sorry. Thank you so much for being on the show, Rajinder. This has been really powerful, and thank you all for listening, and until next time I will. God, I can't even. Why can't I do the beginning? Thank you so much for being on the show, Rajinder. This was so powerful, and thank you all for listening, and I will see you all in the next show, thank you, thank you. Thank you for tuning in. If today's episode lit a fire on you, please rate and review enough already on Apple podcasts or subscribe wherever you listen. And if you're looking for your next step, visit me on my website at Betsy Jordan dot com and it's Betsy Jordyn with a Y and you'll learn all about our end to end services that are custom designed to accelerate your success. Don't wait Start today.
